All My Letters are Love Letters

   I set out to give you a love letter blog and realized that every letter I have ever received is a love letter. Why? Because every time I reread old letters sent to me I can feel the love behind the person who is writing it. Many of these letters come from family and I’m very lucky to be a part of them. Many of the excerpts below are from family who is now gone which makes them ever more precious to me. My intent here is to give you a better insight into my background, who it is who is writing to you here every week.

Except for our dear Aunt Virginia, my generation has now taken its place as the “first generation.” It still seems odd to me. The Sylvester branch of this big family I belong to was in danger of dying out when I was a kid. Of my two brothers, Harlan and Ted, Ted was the only one to produce three sons. Two have married and produced three more sons altogether, so the Sylvesters are on the rise again.

On September 12, 1982, my extended family and ours held one of our famous “family reunions” at the home of my second cousin, Dwight Wass. It was one of the many family events I missed since I moved away from Maine. At this particular reunion a letter was sent out to those missing which several people there added notes to. I’ll give you some excerpts to show you how much they tried to include the “away” relatives into the day.

“Having a lovely time at the reunion. Ted Sr. (my dad) said his favorite sister-in-law was here. You know, Avis, his only sister-in-law. He always has a great time with that.” Avis is from the Tolman branch, having married Evans Tolman, my Dad’s half brother and only brother. Evans has passed away. They were married for well over 50 years I think and you rarely saw one without the other unless Evans was working.  A true love story those two. They both were parental chaperones when their son Jimmy and I were both in the Drum Corps.

“It’s a beautiful day here in Maine at this beautiful reunion at Dwight’s. Wish you were all here with us. Had such lovely food etc. Everyone is talking at once and happy as larks. Hope to see you some day. We’ll have a lot to talk about. Love Aunt Freda and Uncle Carl XXXXXXXX” From my dear Aunt Freda Hilton, mother to my twin cousin, Diane, and cousin Mary Sue. I spent many happy days with them on the farm in Bremen. I miss her.

“Just arrived 2 pm from World’s Fair, Detroit in one day. Loved the China exhibit the best. Great to see all the folks again. I’m in Florida from Nov. to May so don’t see them often…Great to be retired and going strong. Here’s to you, and may we always be a happy tribe. Aunt Alice Emery Gray.” Alice was from the Gray side, a family she founded with her husband. She had 5 kids, and then proceeded to go back to school and get an education degree. She then taught school and after she retired she became a world traveler and enjoyed every minute of it. When we were kids, she often stood in at our house when my mother was sick in the hospital, leaving her own brood in Orrington to come take care of ours. Bless her, we all miss her.

“Hi, it’s me Cynthia (cousin Cynthia Wass). Sorry you couldn’t be here too. Maybe someday you’ll be able to. Had a wonderful time. Also I have a new granddaughter, 1 month old, Michelle Wass (Eric’s baby).” Cynthia is older sister by another marriage to cousins Diane and Mary Sue Hilton.

“This is Mom. I’m writing standing up so hope you can read it. We had a nice time today, beautiful day and all kinds of food, missed you all. Heading home now, taking Aunt Ruth over to Freda’s for a few days. Maybe someday we can all get together, guess we would have to hire the Community Building. About 50 here today. Love, Mom.” Aunt Ruth was Freda’s only sister. She lived on Cranberry Island and they didn’t see each other often. They and my mother were all of the same age. The three of them were able to get together on the island one afternoon when cousins Mary Sue and Cynthia took them down.  They all had a wonderful day and it was the last time they were all together before Aunt Ruth died

.

The letter ends with a guest book affair when someone from each family signed their names. There were 41 entries. It was one of the best letters I every received from my family.

Here are some more excepts from my family “love letters.”

From my dear "twin" cousin Diane Hilton, who recently passed away. Dec. 12, 1983. “Dear Sandra, What a great surprise to get your letter! I agree—it’s been far too long. Coincidentally enough, just last week in the office, I mentioned how we used to look and dress alike until we were about 6 and then you zoomed up and left me behind. Remember—even when we were 12 we still had dresses alike—they were blue and for Easter…It’s interesting that after going our separate paths, we’re both in the same kind of work. PR and promotion is what I do for the Forest Service.” Diane then lived and worked in D.C. from where she retired and moved back to Maine to the farm house in Bremen. She went on to describe her bout with breast cancer and how well she was doing. Unfortunately, she died of cancer this past year. We love and miss you, Diane.

A rare letter from my Dad in which he gives me an extensive weather report. Feb 3, 1984. “Hi, Have you heard that we were snowed in, we have quite a lot of snow, about 14” on the level, and we have some high drifts. Harlan went down to Spruce Head and shoveled off the cottage roofs today. Tell your boss we appreciate his concern of our welfare. (Don’t remember what boss or what the problem was) Your mother is getting ready to go get her hair done and then we are going shopping. You should see the drifts in our parking lot where they plowed the snow, about 8’ high. Can’t get out our back door. I’m still working for Rex (at Bald Mountain Printing) and the Sherriff’s Dept. (he worked as the “hear ye, hear ye” guy in the court system and as Deputy Sherriff directing traffic for fires and other emergencies.) I think I will retire when in 1985 will be 80, don’t seem possible. Give my regards to everyone.” My Dad died at 85 at which time he was still involved in several local organizations as well as volunteering at the hospital. He was a man with a great sense of humor, which my brother Ted inherited, and a man you could always depend on.

A Thank-You note from Aunt Freda regarding her 50^th Anniversary party which was attended by about 200 people. April 9, 1987. “Dearest Sandra, We do wish you could have been here for our anniversary party. It was such a grand time. So many of our dear friends, neighbors and family on both sides came to help us celebrate. I want to thank you for your part in the celebration too. Diane played the tape and it was so wonderful of you to make and send it, and the letter for the memory book. It brought back so many memories of the past. We just did things to give you all a happy time when you were with us and we enjoyed doing it too. The framed picture of the invitation on the gold background was a very thoughtful thing for you to do. I have it on display with my other anniversary gifts in my dining room dish cupboard. Thank you for being so thoughtful.” It was the least I could do. Uncle Carl and Aunt Freda will always be loved in our hearts.

A rare letter from Aunt Ruth over on Cranberry Island. She was quite infirm at the time and in a wheelchair. She describes later in the letter how her daughter, Gaile and her friend Arvard came and got her in the car, drove it onto a barge, and took her to the mainland that way. She really enjoyed the trip. She also added a P.S. at the top of the letter: “Hope you can get to visit next year. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.” I did get to go over to the island and visit with her a couple of times with my family.

Dec. 17, 1988, 11:00 a.m.

“Dear Sandra, I take pen in hand to write you greetings from Cranberry Island and the State of Maine, a beautiful winter’s day, sky very blue, sun shining and all is calm, but weather man reports a big storm coming tonight, snow, wind etc. I hope it passes us by and goes out to sea. (Winters can be harsh on our islands as you know.) I want to thank you for all the written material you sent, and for the lovely memorial to Aunt Alice. She was a beautiful person, a sister to me, and I shall always have a place in my heart for her. Aunt Fay (Alice’s sister) is 89 and doing quite well but getting very frail. Myself I keep busy as always working on projects for the Church Fair. I’m on several committees and that keeps me writing quite a bit and with cooking and writing my Christmas cards, you can see I’m really busy. I have 12 great-grandchidren and 13 great-great grandchildren, and one more expected in January. Tud and I started quite a family. Now I wish they would stop coming. (She had three children to begin with, Gaile, Arthur, and Allison.).”

Finally, I include a card from my second mother, Thelma Small, mother of my best friend, Rose Ann when we both lived down on Fulton Street in the South End. Thelma at this time was housemother for a school of nursing in New Hampshire. This card is undated but I believe it comes from when I lived in Hartford in the early 70s and worked nights for the Hartford Courant. I was in my 20s and evidently going through some problem or other in my young life.

This is what the type on the card said:

"A new strength…There are times in every life when we feel hurt or alone…But I believe that these times when we feel lost and all around us seems to be falling apart are really bridges of growth.

We struggle and try to recapture the security of what was, but almost in spite of ourselves…we emerge on the other side with a new understanding, a new awareness, a new strength.

It is almost as though we must go through the pain and the struggle in order to grow and reach new heights."   –Sue Mitchell

How long did she search for just the right card to send to me? She herself didn’t have the easiest life, but she was always there for me. I love her and miss her. Here’s some of what she said in her letter with the card.

“I’m sorry that so much has gone on in your world in such a short time—the words on this card sort of say what I’d like to say because I believe in what it says. I know that struggle is where you are at right now—but hang in there…I care about you and what happens to you so please keep in touch…”

Dear Thelma, you were always there for me. I love you and miss you.

These are just a few of the “love letters” I’ve received in my life time. I hope they have comforted you in some way if you are going through a hard time right now. If you are fortunate to have an extensive and loving family like I do you are truly blessed.

Thanks for listening.