Beyond the South End

By TED SYLVESTER

Do-It-Yourselfer Discovers

Pitfalls of Home-Building

(This column appeared in June of 1972 in the BDN. See also “Deluxe Divorce” and an answer to the “Camping Question” from the Oct. 2013 blog at the end of this column.)

ROCKLAND—Our friendly do-it-yourselfer (DIY) is at it again. This time he has taken on the project of construction a 20x12 foot addition to his home.

Considerable planning went into the project: How much lumber was needed, a decision to desired materials, insulation, etc. Once the dimensions were decided upon, our friend found that even simple arithmetic doesn’t prove out.

Even before the first nail was driven, the project was headed for trouble. To begin with an estimate on cost of lumber was $50 off—not lower, higher. After that it was quite a spell before the cement footing for the supporting posts could be poured—the holes kept filling up with water.

The project finally progressed to the point of framing the floor. Here’s where the arithmetic came in. The addition was 20 feet long (240 inches). Since it was desired to have a floor stringer every 16 inches, simple arithmetic will tell you that 16 goes into 240 exactly 15 times, and simple logic will tell you that you must need 15 stringers—wrong—you need 16. You see you have to have one on the outside edge to start with. After this was resolved and the frame work properly squared and leveled, it came time to lay the 4X8 sheets of plywood flooring. Now if you place stringers 16 inches on center apart the eight-foot piece of plywood will come exactly on center at the eight-foot mark—it was about two inches off.

What our friend had done was measure 16-inches on center alright. But on the first stringer it should have been measured from the outside edge because the flooring is placed flush to the outside. Not only was the first eight-foot mark off, so was the second. To rectify the error these two stringers had to be taken out and moved over to fit—the rest didn’t matter because one can nail across anywhere—except for one thing. When it comes time to lay the 16-inch-wide insulation between the stringers, you have two holes that are too narrow and two that are too wide.

After trimming some insulation here, and adding some there, the job was completed, and amazingly enough the flooring job came out almost exactly square.

Next, it was time for studding the walls. Our friend was more careful with his measurements this time. One side was put in place and the DIYer was even clever enough to allow for an overhang on the top, a real professional job. Next came an end wall, with the same pleasing results. However, when it came to put on the other side wall there was a little problem. When the end wall had been placed, it was built flush to the corner. This was alright except for one thing, how to get the overhang on the top to match up with the other end.

At this point in the job, our friend carefully picked up all his tools and put them away for the time being—it was a good day to plant the garden.

We’ll let you know how he makes out with the rest of the room addition.

Deluxe Divorce

There is a Connecticut firm which is now supplying a service to lawyers which they advertise will result in “worry free results.”

“The entire transaction can be pleasant and as free as possible of the unpleasant mechanics so often associated with the ordinary dissolution of a marriage,” the firm claims.

The deal is that for a $1,000 fee a “client” is flown to Haiti on a scheduled airplane, met at the airport, dined in style, escorted to court, supplied with complimentary chips for gambling (if desired), and returned to the airport divorced—“in just two days,” according to the bulletin.

Camping Question

Our item of last week concerning the apparent violation to city codes against camping on private property created quite a stir. You remember that an interpretation by the codes officer—even though there was no plan to enforce it unless complaints were received—it is against the local law to camp anywhere in the city. This included kids sleeping in a backyard tent, or a weekend visitor sleeping in a camper parked in your yard.

The city manager offered the interpretation that tenting in the backyard was not in violation, but under the letter of the law, sleeping in a camper was in violation. He added that unless there is a case of flagrant violations, no one is going to bother the visitor who spends a night in a camper while parked in your driveway.

Speaking of ordinances—last summer there was one passed which prohibited sitting on the fenders of automobiles. There must have been at least 25 or 30 persons, mostly kids, sitting on cars along Main Street during the Memorial Day parade Monday. But as the city manager quickly pointed out, they were not a hazard to traffic, because there wasn’t any traffic at that time.

   

Note: If you have a comment for Ted concerning his work, please email:

 southendstories@aol.com. I will gladly forward it to Ted.