Beyond the South End

Written in 12/82, this is the second part of Ted’s column from last month. It is a continuation of the situation he and Andy Rooney discussed at one time via letter.

We picked a new gripe the other day. Remember back when we complained about having to purchase four flashlight batteries for our three-cell flashlight because of asinine packaging practices of manufacturers? The same went for shoelaces. You have to buy two or three pair to get the one you want. We still haven’t bought any.

Well we finally lost the three-cell light. Maybe misplaced is a better word. We’re sure it will show up someday when we least expect it. Anyway, we went out and bought a new one, a two-celler. No more frustrations about what to do with that extra battery we always had to buy. Also, this new one had a switch that was guaranteed for 10 years. How can you beat a deal like that?

Hadn’t had the darned thing a week when a mishap broke both the glass and bulb. The switch still worked fine though. We went back to the store to get us a new glass for the lens and a new bulb. We must have been crazy. They don’t have such things in this store. We managed to find a bulb in another old flashlight which still worked but still do not have a lens.

Then we got to thinking. What happens if the switch breaks down in seven or eight years? By that time the store will probably be out of business. Even if it isn’t, how will we prove when and where we bought the light even if we can remember?

When you get right down to it, those so-called guarantees don’t amount to a hill of beans. Let’s face it, it’s just an advertising gimmick.

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Now here’s something else that really got us upset. We were shopping during a special promotion offering a 20-percent discount on all purchases. So we did a bunch of Christmas shopping. At the checkout, the girl added up the purchases, added the sales tax, then took off the 20-percent discount. We grumbled and growled that one doesn’t have to pay sales tax on the full price, only on what you actually pay for the item.

Fumed about it for several days. Then we dug out our handy dandy calculator. You know, it doesn’t make any difference which way the discount is figured, it comes out the same.

Buy something for $100. The sales tax is $5. A 20-percent discount is $21. The net price is $84. Take the 20-percent from the $100 before adding the tax, which is the way we insisted it should be. The price is than $80. Add sales tax to that. Know what you get for a new price? That’s right, $84.