Jeff Foxworthy on Maine

Have you heard these yet? Sister-in-law, Kay, sent these truisms

 about Maine from Jeff Foxworthy. I thought you might enjoy them.

If you consider it a sport to gather your food by drilling through 18 inches of ice and sitting there all day hoping that the food will swim by You might live in Maine If your local Dairy Queen is closed from November through March, You might live in Maine If someone in a store offers you assistance, and they don't work there, You might live in Maine If your dad's suntan stops at a line curving around the middle of his forehead, You might live in Maine If you know how to say...Wicked. ..Up to camp. .Ayuh . Can't get there from heyah, You might live in Maine If vacation means going "up north" for the weekend, You might live in Maine If you measure distance in hours, You might live in Maine If you know several people, who have hit deer more than once, You might live in Maine If you can drive 65 mph through 2 feet of snow during a raging blizzard without flinching and keep drinking coffee You might live in Maine If you see people wearing hunting clothes at social events, You might live in Maine If you install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked, You might live in Maine If you think of the major food groups as beer, fish, and Venison, You might live in Maine If you carry jumper cables in your car, and your wife or girlfriend knows how to use them, You might live in Maine If there are 7 empty unlocked cars running in the parking lot at Hannafords at any given time , You might live in Maine If you design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit, You might live in Maine If driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow, You might live in Maine If you know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, mud season and of course, road construction, You might live in Maine If you can identify a southern or Massachusetts accent, You might live in Maine If your idea of creative landscaping is a plastic deer next to your blue spruce, You might live in Maine If "Down South" to you means Boston, You might live in Maine If you know "scat" is something you don't eat, You might live in Maine If you find -15 degrees "a little chilly", You might live in Maine If you actually understand these jokes, and you forward them to all your Maine friends, You definitely live in Maine Now smile because at least 99 percent of these are true and Yes.....you live in Maine.